Sinuses and Scheduling

This morning I woke up to find that my eye hurt, and it was the opposite one that I got the cat hair wedged in last night (note to self: don’t rub your eyes after petting either of the cats!) My sinuses have all been out of whack recently after my week long bout with the flu bug that I’m still getting over in one way or another. (It could also be the fact that I’ve not dusted in a while, but that’s something else I need to think about) So I think it could be that, or it could be a blocked tear duct. Either way, it’s annoying and it hurts a fair bit so I hope it’s better by the morning.

Tomorrow starts the week of my bout of help at the church. Wednesday morning I have to take Abby to preschool, and then Wednesday evening I have choir practice. Thursday I’m gonna get in contact with the community builder at the church and see if he needs any last minute help with Friday Fun Night. Friday is praise band practice, plus Friday Fun Night. Saturday is a day off (I THINK!) and then Sunday is church again. I would really love the weeks to not go by so darn quickly, Sunday seems to come around so quick…but since I’m having a better week this week, it should be a little better and I’ll be able to participate more. I had to be dragged to do anything last week and I really hate feeling like that cause I just want to lock myself away in a cardboard box and hide. Hiding is not an option for me cause there’s always someone who needs me, no matter what time of the day and I set myself up for this level of commitment so I need to follow through.

Let Me Out!

Today I’m having a day where I’m not really sure what I want to do with myself but mope around the house and feel sorry for myself. It just seems to be one thing after another, and I’m at my wits end because I’m starting to think that it’s all my fault.

Abby’s been really bratty recently, and it really makes me feel like a bad parent because I’m convinced that it has to be something that I’m doing wrong- since I’m the one parent who spends the most time with her. Nick got really annoyed by this attitude of mine, so he stormed off to the bar where I imagine he is drinking bottle after bottle of beer. As he said, “you don’t drive me to drink, but you sure make it easier.” How on earth do you think that makes me feel as a person, a wife and a mother? It makes me feel even worse, that’s what.

I skipped out on teaching Sunday School this morning (I’ve started teaching Abby’s class with another woman.) Because the other teacher was there, I knew I’d be able to stay in bed and sleep more…which I knew last night would be what I wanted to do in the morning. It also gave me a chance to take a shower and get dressed at a reasonable pace, instead of speeding through the house like the Tasmanian Devil at 100mph and tossing everything aside in my path. We were still later than I would have liked, but I was there. We were clean and presentable, and isn’t that all that matters? Sure I was there dressed down (not the hoodie and sneakers like I said I might) but there’s people there who were more dressed down than me. Heck, I looked like I was going for a night at the Ritz compared to some of the congregation. My hair was damp and pulled back, so I looked a little different but I honestly have given up caring what people think of me a long time ago.

I honestly just wish there was a way out of my mood that I seem to be currently trapped in. I know that I could take meds, but I’ve been down that roas before and they turn me into a faceless member of society…what the rest of the world would consider to be ‘normal’. Screw being normal, I find normal boring and dull. If I wanted to be boring and dull, I would be the atypical 1950’s housewife that bakes pies, makes cocktails and entertains the bridge meeting over at her charming family house.

I am not that person.

Bad Luck

I appear to be having such rotten luck at the moment. I managed to download some nasty virus on the computer yesterday after only having the internet back for a few days and then my computer goes on the fritz and now I am back to square one…paying more money out for the damned computer.

So I am back to scrounging other people’s computers to type my blog entries. Bah

Ewwww….

So I got up at my usual time of 7am this morning and the first thing I do is wake Abby up. So I open the door and I see her cute smiley face, only there’s a problem. She tells me she’s all icky and then I notice the dried-on sick all over her left side. In her hair, on her face and all down her arm. I look at the bed and it’s all by her pillow and all over it too. So to me it looks like she was sick in her sleep, Abby was lucky that she didn’t choke on it. 

So before I had even sat down to any breakfast or my morning dose of caffeine, I put the sheets from the bed in the wash, given Abby a shower to get her cleaned up and cleaned the carpet in her bedroom to get the sick out of it. I used to be so grossed out by sick, but Abby has thrown up so many times now (app. about 5/6) that I’m actually getting used to sick. Still can’t stomach looking at diarrhea though.

Abby is currently watching Charlie and Lola with her favourite soft toy and her favourite blanket. I asked her if she wanted anything to eat, but she told me no so I just gave her some water to at least get rid of the nasty taste in her mouth. I should probably brush her teeth too.

Exchanges

Not a lot has been happening here in the last few days. I’ve been writing a little and that tends to keep my head above water most of the time. My illness has been getting me down so the housework had been falling behind, but today I was feeling good about myself and managed to catch up with it all. 

I ended up getting Pokemon Diamond today instead of yesterday, but I had to trade for it. Bedroom action for a video game-  seemed like a fair trade to me. I was game and now I have the game. Not played on it much, I really want to test out the wireless capabilities of it but there’s no where for me to test it out yet. Usually, I just hijack the wifi connection through our bedroom wall (my neighbours computer is on the other side and she has a wireless router)…but they’re all at Disneyland until the 2nd, so I’m gonna go out tomorrow to buy coffee and use one of the wifi connections at the coffee shop. Not like there isn’t enough of them around here- heck the library even has one!

I’ve also decided that I love cough drops. The cherry flavoured ones especially. I’ve had a nasty chest infection recently, and the only thing that seems to be shifting it is these cough drops and lots of plain water. It’s taking a long time but I’m getting better slowly- at least I got through choir practice unscathed tonight!  

Stuck Without A Map

I’ve just been feeling really lost today. I wasn’t able to fall asleep until 4am, and even then I fell asleep in the living room and Nick must have carried me back to bed when he got home from work around 6am ish. Most evenings I either watch tv or do my crossword puzzle books. I have tons of books, but I honestly don’t feel like reading. I have a ton of video games, but I don’t feel like playing those either. I’ve not been outside all day and I can see that the sun is shining…but the energy is just not there. So I’ve been switching between writing a story on the computer, completing crossword puzzles and watching CSI reruns on tv. The housework remains unfinished and I even tried to bake a cake but for some bizarre reason it fell flat and that never happens to me. 

I hope tomorrow is a better day.