A New Side To Christmas

Church this evening was nice, it was good to be surrounded by my church family and their warm greetings. Especially when most people were rejecting me from outside the walls. I was there for the candlelit midnight service and we were there till just before midnight and then went home to a nice warm house with a cat waiting to be loved and a pile of gifts waiting to be wrapped.

I am not the biggest fan of Christmas, right off the bat I will tell you that now. I think it is the most commercialised, over-advertised piece of crap on the planet. Christmas is about Jesus, and the gifts are just for the kids. When you get over the age of 20, Christmas no longer holds any special sparkle or happiness for you- especially if you’re alone at that time of year.

I, myself am 27 and have pretty much felt this way about the seasonal affair for the last six, seven years. A special person in my life feels the same way too. It’s only fun for you when you get older if you have kids and you get to watch the joy on their faces as they unwrap their gifts under the tree on Christmas morning…which in a few hours I will get the opportunity to do. I bought her some really awesome stuff and so I’m looking forward to seeing her in the stuff I got. I’ve still got a crap load more stuff downstairs from my friends for her, and I need to wrap it before I get picked up this morning at 9am.

I wanted to get some other people some stuff too, but money has been limited to say the least this year so I’ve been kind of bummed out about it. I’ve been up all night talking to a friend of mine and he’s gone off to bed now for a couple of hours sleep before everything kicks off…but I’m here watching the sun rise on yet another day in my life.

It’s Christmas Day, have a great day…get drunk and merry on me and Happy Christmas!

Server Down Time Day

It’s Tuesday, and we all know by now what that means (what?! you’re a new reader? jeez….haha) so I am currently perplexed as what to do with myself. I probably should work on some more of my novel, but I am currently sitting at a desk with lots of popcorn kernels scattered under it and I have to go grocery shopping too. If there’s one thing that I’ve learned over the last couple of months, it’s that I have to learn how to break my day down into manageable chunks and take each project one step at a time.  Slow down, take a deep breathe and step back from it all.  And I’m not sure whether that is just down to my new meds or whether they actually helped my brain fog to clear so I could figure this out by myself…but I have had a few revelations over the last couple of days.

On the other hand, people at church must have heard me boasting about the fact that I’ve gone down from a 10 to an 8…cause now I have people left and right calling me inviting me to their houses for Christmas food. I got another phone call this morning from my good friend Mike and he was asking me to his mom’s house for dinner this evening with himself and Nikki. I’m already going to Shannon’s house on Christmas Day- do people WANT me to put the weight back on?! I’ve been working for about a year to get this dress size to come off, gawd people!

And we’re eating prime rib on New Year’s Day, and because there’s going to be a certain someone short at the damn table….I told him his portion was going to the dogs. He proceeded to tell me that he hated me…I know he doesn’t :p

Sinuses and Scheduling

This morning I woke up to find that my eye hurt, and it was the opposite one that I got the cat hair wedged in last night (note to self: don’t rub your eyes after petting either of the cats!) My sinuses have all been out of whack recently after my week long bout with the flu bug that I’m still getting over in one way or another. (It could also be the fact that I’ve not dusted in a while, but that’s something else I need to think about) So I think it could be that, or it could be a blocked tear duct. Either way, it’s annoying and it hurts a fair bit so I hope it’s better by the morning.

Tomorrow starts the week of my bout of help at the church. Wednesday morning I have to take Abby to preschool, and then Wednesday evening I have choir practice. Thursday I’m gonna get in contact with the community builder at the church and see if he needs any last minute help with Friday Fun Night. Friday is praise band practice, plus Friday Fun Night. Saturday is a day off (I THINK!) and then Sunday is church again. I would really love the weeks to not go by so darn quickly, Sunday seems to come around so quick…but since I’m having a better week this week, it should be a little better and I’ll be able to participate more. I had to be dragged to do anything last week and I really hate feeling like that cause I just want to lock myself away in a cardboard box and hide. Hiding is not an option for me cause there’s always someone who needs me, no matter what time of the day and I set myself up for this level of commitment so I need to follow through.

Rebellious Streak

Tomorrow is Sunday, the day of the week that everyone expects me to behave like a complete angel and not be the raving lunatic that I know that I am. Today I had a really horrible day where everything pissed me off no end, Abby was being a pain in my ass wanting my attention all the time and I just wanted to be left the hell alone. Nick knew this and so I slept for about two hours this afternoon, just so I could retreat into my own world for a while and be alone. It’s pretty hard to do this when you’re expected to be a perfect wife and mother and spend every waking hour with them.

I wanted to go out and get shitfaced. I wanted to go get lost, I still feel like that but part of my moral fiber is reminding me of how many people I hurt when I go off the deep end and do that. My choir director called about an hour ago and I was really sharp and curt with him- I don’t mean to be a raving bitch but on days like this there is no hiding how I really feel.

But anyway, tomorrow is Sunday and that means I have to go to church and be a nice person. What. Ever. I am totally not in the mood for that, I am uber tempted to turn up in my hoodie, jeans and sneakers and piss off everyone in the congregation. I always dress up Abby to look all pretty because well, everyone notices her way more than they notice me…and I’m fine with that. The drama queen part of me secretly hates it, but I don’t listen to her half the time. I had a meeting with the pastor last Monday and I explained everything about myself in great detail, and she was fine with the fact that I may have outbursts or crying jags in the middle of service. I turn up for second service wearing my jeans most of the time anyway, and last week I painted my fingernails black and wore my jeans. No one ever really notices the jeans, but for some reason the black nail polish seemed to freak them the hell out. *evil cackle* I love pissing people off. They work themselves up to have these ridiculous high expecations of me and then I trash it all by dressing really casual. Stick it up your arse, my church preaches all about being yourself in church and then half the congregation goes batshit crazy when I show up and wreck their perfect world

Whooped by a Three Year Old!

I had a meeting at the church tonight with the youth leader, as I had agreed to help lead Sunday School for the preschool class this year (after one of the teachers has gone inexplicably missing) and so we quickly wolfed down dinner and walked down to the church so I could get there on time. I meet the youth leader there and we have our meeting and afterwards I decide that I could use a glass of water. Abby asks for one too, so we dash up to the gathering space to use one of the drinking glasses on the side for a quick drink. 

As we get up there, I see that one of the members has lent us his Wii for Rally Day this coming Sunday. They forgot to bring the Wii Sports disc with, so we’re playing on Wii Play- which was alright I guess, pretty simple games designed for older or younger folk than I. There was a couple of games on there that were kind of fun and Abby really liked a fishing game- which I helped her with a little bit and she proceeded to whoop the butt of the church’s community leader (who’s idea it was to get the Wii in the first place). Not only is the Wii for use on Rally Day, but I also heard that it’s a test run to see if the older folks will play it and we can nudge the trustee board to buy one for the church- as we’re planning on starting up a Family Game Night every Friday during the winter when there isn’t a lot to do. 

It was fun and it was so much fun to watch Abby playing on the Wii and her eyes were just like saucers- she was so entranced it was the most adorable thing. I guess I know what she wants to play on come Sunday :p

Preschool Start

So this morning was the start of preschool for Abby. Nick stayed up and took us so he could check the place out for himself, so we got Abby up and dressed and then we set out for church. We got there on the dot and luckily people came after us too, so we weren’t the last people in through the door. Abby already knows her way around the rooms, because we also use the rooms for Sunday School during the fall/winter season every Sunday morning. 

Things got started and they played with the toys and Abby found the stash of Little People. There was another little girl there with her parents, and Abby played with her while Nick and I introduced ourselves to her parents. Turns out that the dad was from England too, but from a little north of my home town- Newcastle. He had no accent anymore but it was still really fun to talk to someone about familiar topics. It’s hard to be so far from home and it’s really nice to have a friend who understands what it’s like to live so far away from home and family. 

All in all, Abby really enjoyed herself and seemed to get on well with the other kids so I guess we’ll see how things pan out on Monday when she has her first full day.

VBS is Great!

It was the third day of VBS today and I am enjoying myself so much. After my half hour with the kids, I don’t do anything else for a whole 90 minutes so I walk home and eat dinner with Nick while Abby is occupied with her classes. It’s nice because it gives us a little time to spend together doing things we’re not allowed to do while Abby is around, like watching Family Guy. We both love that show so much (I like American Dad too) but we can’t watch it while Abby is around because it’s not age-appropriate. Bummer :p 

I was a little uneasy about doing VBS at the start, but as the week’s gone on I’ve loved more and more of it. I love working with Brad because he is so easy to get along with and we have a blast together. Faith Fusion Finale is definetely my favourite time because the kids get to be involved and they have a blast with us. Brad’s also one of the Sunday School teachers so he’s automatically better with the kids than I am. I just get nervous in front of people I don’t know very well. I’ve learned with kids though that they don’t care if you screw up, because they don’t know what it’s supposed to be like in the first place. So being up on stage in front of them has turned out to be easy. 

Now, Pastor Kelly asked me tonight if I’d like to do a song with the kids on Sunday during Children’s Time and myself and the kids have to perform a song for the congregation. Ohhhhhhh crap. That’s what’s making me nervous. If I keep my back to the congregation I think I should be okay. So they get to watch me wiggling my butt in church….BIG DEAL, get over yourselves. I’m enjoying myself and so are the kids. Isn’t that the most important thing?

VBS, It’s A Learning Process

So tonight was the first night of VBS (Vacation Bible School), and it was about 50/50. At the beginning, I’m supposed to start off the whole night with some songs and a skit with ‘The Crazy Professor’. The skit went great, but my bits wern’t so great. I think it was because I was following the booklet that came with the CD for the music program and it threw me off so much. We were originally having the DVD projected up onto a big screen and then a separate CD playing, but we had a problem with them trying to cue up on one of the songs…so tomorrow I’m gonna scrap the DVD, and just go with the CD. We used just the CD at the end and it went much better because the kids wern’t distracted by the DVD. I’ve also typed up my own version of my music class so everything is going to be far less chaotic tomorrow. 

Abby also took part in VBS this year, since she was now old enough. She had loads of fun I can tell you, with red dots on her face and four cups of Kool Aid in her belly. I’m surprised she fell asleep that quickly with that much sugar inside of her. She did make me a cookie while we were there, and she was really proud of herself. I felt so proud of her in return because she was being such a good girl  

The most fun I had though was the Faith Fusion Finale because me and Brad (the guy that plays The Crazy Professor) got to do a science experiment for the kids using dry ice and dish liquid…and their eyes just lit up it was the most insane reaction. It made me so happy to see them enjoying what they saw, and I don’t know what the experiment is for tomorrow night but Brad says it’s going to be even better. So bring on tomorrow night because it’s going to be far better than tonight.

Heck, anything can be better than the shambles that was tonight

Time Slipping Away

So, like a fool I volunteered to be the music teacher for this year’s Vacation Bible School (or VBS for short). Luckily, I’m not thinking about stuff I have to learn for choir so that takes up that part of my brain. I have a whole CD to memorize including the actions. I have the CD about half way done, with no actions yet. VBS is July 21…that’s in 11 days. Eek. So to help me a little, I ripped the mp3’s from the DVD and put them on the computer…so I can listen to them on my iPod and I’ve also burned a CD for Diana, incase she wants to use the music at all. It makes it all a little easier with the fact that the tunes are pretty catchy, and some I actually want to sing along too. 

The actions are going to be a little harder to learn though, so I’m going ask Judie who did the music last year. She’s also the Children’s Choir Director so I think she’ll be a big help. I play with her partner Ann-Marie at the Tuesday volleyball game. I’m really nervous about standing up in front of a bunch of kids doing this, but in some ways it will be okay because kids don’t care if you screw up. They don’t know any better and they’re just following along with what you’re doing. Which is why I am now buckling down and getting this perfect. I refuse to screw up :p

To get an idea of what I’ve gotten myself into, this is the program we’re following at the church:

Group’s VBS Power Lab

Mailbox Importance

So something pretty special happened over the last week. I officially got appointed as the Church Librarian! I had volunteered my services to the church over the Christmas period and I’d been slowly chipping away at the mess that is the Library, and then this week my name officially got put on the ‘Librarian’ mail slot in the Church Office. Which means my name is now also on the church bulletins every Sunday. 

The library is a very slow and arduous process, but the Pastor is helping me too and together we’re getting it done. We’re both very creative people, so together we have some really good ideas and visions for the library. When I first set foot in the room, I felt very oppressed and libraries shouldn’t feel like that to me. So we’re getting rid off about 50% of the books and switching the furniture around. Hopefully, we can get the trustee board to agree to buying some new books and adding a coat of paint to the room- because for the time being it’s just white, and I think it needs a little bit of colour. 

I also have to write a letter to the trustee board to state what I think needs to happen to the library, and I’m gonna need a little help I think. I have all these ideas in my head, but I have no clue whether they’re going to work or whether they’d be appropriate for a church library. Maybe I can call up some other churches and see how they have their libraries.